Cramps and Bleeding: A Miscarriage? (Updated Post)

On Thursday afternoon, while I was at work, I started feeling some abdominal discomfort. My first thought was that my lunch was causing me the problem. But we had had a company lunch, and no one else seemed to be affected. So I continued working, not really worried--that is, not until the bleeding started.

I rushed to the restroom, fearing the worst--a miscarriage. I was 6 weeks and 5 days pregnant, and only 3 days earlier I had had my first ultrasound after the pregnancy was confirmed. Everything was normal, and the doctor had detected a heartbeat. Now, bleeding heavily, I believed I was most definitely having a miscarriage. Not knowing what to do, I called my doctor, and he was able to see me for an ultrasound that same afternoon.

Surprisingly, the fetus was unaffected. It had grown in size and continued to have a strong heartbeat. Next to its sac was another amniotic sac--smaller and empty. Next to that empty sack was a pool of blood. My doctor said he had seen many pregnant women bleed and that I shouldn't worry about it. I was having a blood clot, and all that meant was that I had to be monitored more closely.

I went home relieved. The cramping had stopped, and the bleeding had subsided to mild spotting the next day. I was feeling great. And then on Saturday the cramping returned. I started bleeding again.

This time I wasn't worried. I was expecting to pass the blood that had accumulated in my uterus (and which we had seen on the ultrasound). By then, I had also read multiple Internet posts about successful pregnancies despite cramping and bleeding. Thus, I was completely unprepared for the shocking revelation of Monday morning's ultrasound test.

Usually, the exam is brief--my doctor measures the size of the fetus and the sac, comments on the heartbeat, and tells me when to come for a follow-up visit. This time, he was silent for more than a minute, trying to find something he wasn't seeing. Finally, the verdict: no fetal heartbeat.

I was speechless. I had no known health problem, and the embryo was supposedly perfect (I had spent thousands of dollars to ensure it had no chromosomal abnormalities). Receiving this news was especially difficult after I had been so elated at the discovery that I hadn't lost the baby on four days prior. To be given hope and then have it taken away is rough.

For the first time, I was glad my job was so demanding. Not thinking about the unexpected death of the fetus certainly made it easier, but avoidance is rarely the best approach. I am trying to accept that I cannot change what has already happened. Blaming my doctor for not doing the right tests or for letting me continue the injections even though they might have contributed to the blood clotting is easy to do, but it's not helpful.

I still have one good frozen embryo left, and it might be a winner. I'll give it a chance. But first, I need to figure out what went wrong with this pregnancy. I expect the results from my blood work early next week.